So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
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