I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
