Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
