so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
