I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
