shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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