i wish peter jackson would direct porn
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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