woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm like, not good at living.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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