we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
