he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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