Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
