it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Randomize
