Tell her she can't have a vagina
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
