my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
