just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
