it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
