well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
