I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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