My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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