Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
