I heard we made out
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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