Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
