She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
