The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ass is underappreciated
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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