I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
my shit smells like andre
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
