I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize