The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
