Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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