i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
