That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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