I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
