The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
