Non-Jews are for practice
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
