Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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