After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
