I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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