No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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