I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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