I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Randomize
