I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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