sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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