Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Can you bring me the toilet please
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
