just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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