Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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