He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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