Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Randomize
