You're completely useless in the revolution.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Michael Bay diarrhea
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
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