dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
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Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
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I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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