dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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