Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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