Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize