Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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