It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
