Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
