At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
