Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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