if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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