none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
