You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
